You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
my liver is dry heaving
soo... how was my night?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
