whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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