dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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