at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
