ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
