my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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