dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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