I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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