i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
