she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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