I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
