she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
