two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
