Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
