I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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