White coat. Heels.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
