i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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