even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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