i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
