so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
