you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
