he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Rumble strips road head = magical
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
