does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
