pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
