Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
