Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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