I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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