you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
