I smell stomach acid.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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