I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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