My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize