I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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