btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
