I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
