You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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