she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
