OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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