Heybabeimwearingurpanties
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
