He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
