the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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