Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
How's work?
Spinning.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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