I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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