either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
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