wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
