I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
