I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize