yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
