We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
