I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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