How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize