Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
