Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Houston, we have a squirter
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
