Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
