Plan B is the new Plan A
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
