she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
