Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
