I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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