I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
