Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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