My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
