so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
