a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
