the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
