somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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