I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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